


and I know that I deserve your love (there's nothing I'm not worthy of)

by Laeana



Series: ℓove is a seduction game, [16]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Boys In Love, Business, Declarations Of Love, Divorce, Established Relationship, Happy, Healing, Light Angst, Living Together, M/M, Routine, Sewis just being wholesome, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:28:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28944450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana
Summary: Sebastian has an important appointment.Lewis can only hope that everything will be fine.And leafing through two or three stories, it is possible that he may find ... a home.
Relationships: Lewis Hamilton/Sebastian Vettel
Series: ℓove is a seduction game, [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002225
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	and I know that I deserve your love (there's nothing I'm not worthy of)

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [this is me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24341602) by [Laeana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana). 



> Lewis finds the ring in Sebastian's night table.
> 
> (featuring : this is me by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble)

— At least get some rest today, okay, Liebling ?

He nods at his companion's words. Proud, in a way. Proud because Sebastian has an important appointment today, concerning the future of what he always thought was just a simple little flower shop.

Too humble. Way too humble. But that's part of Sebastian's way of being and he loves him for that too.

— Will you tell me how it went ? I don't like not coming with you.

— I know, Lew, I'll be back soon.

The youngest one presses a quick kiss to his lips before retrieving his coat and walking out the door. Everyone has their turn to take care of their work. He took out the shares he had in Nico's company. He can start all over again, he can change jobs. For now, he doesn't know where to go. He doesn't know if he wants really to ... create a new buisness. He has everything in his hands, but it just doesn't feel right. He doesn't know if he's ready to give up on the routine he created with Sebastian. Even if he should. Even if he doesn't miss the worried glances his boyfriend send him, when he thinks he isn't looking.

Left alone, Lewis sighs. He doesn't know what to do except roam the house. If he doesn't deal with something, he will start to feel bad. To worry. He will start to think too much and that's something he prefers to avoid right now. There's way too much to care about. 

Which is downright ridiculous because Sebastian has set up his business on his own, he doesn't need him. He actually doesn't need anyone and owes his success to himself. He can very well deal with it, that's something he's sure of.

Still, he can't help but worry.

Lewis, himself, could now set up his own business, he has the means and he knows that many would like to follow him. He would have no trouble finding locals, employees, or re-entering the market, but the thing, the question coming and going in his mind, haunting him everyday, is rather ...

Does he really want to start over ?

Once again, he geniunely loves his current life. He likes its simplicity, he likes to wake up every morning to the one he loves, he like when they cook together in their kitchen (gosh can he call it their kitchen?), portraying a comfortable routine. Each of their movements, their bodies moving on the crumpled sheets, the somewhat old-fashioned films, huddled together. He wouldn't want to change that for the world. He wants to keep it that way, at any cost.

He starts cleaning almost unconsciously. He vacuumed, started a laundry. He moves to the bedroom, continuing to think about it. About this small dream that his life becomes to look like. What he always dreamt of, what he never thought he could have. All he never imagined or never dared to ...

He could see himself adding a little piano in the living room, just for his personal enjoyment, whether his German would be okay with it, of course. He could see himself playing some songs over, while Sebastian sits right by his side, leaning on his shoulder, closed eyes. He didn't have yet the occasion to play for him, that's one of his regrets. Sebastian could inspire him the sweetest poetry, the greatest melodies ...

He owned a large black grand piano in the apartment he shared with Nico but it clearly wasn't one of the things he took with him. He only took some stuffs, clothes, pictures, what he owned and didn't take too much place. But he certainly had too many bad memories. Good ones too, everything is never to be thrown away, he tends to forget that, the darkness tends to take over, but he wants to turn the page.

He visualizes a way to put a little of his own in this house, wonders if that would be possible. Will it be possible ? A kind of excitement in his stomach, really. It wasn't originally his house, he doesn't even know if he can call it his own and he especially doesn't want to disturb his mate with his businesses and-

Oh.

He started to do a bit of tidying up, although most of their stuff was tangled throughout the room, he loves stealing Sebastian's shirts, he loves having his scent on him (he's wearing one right now). 

He wasn't really thinking about it, so he just walked over to the side of his lover's bed and opened the bedside table and-

A ring.

An alliance. Golden. It waits patiently, stored in the drawer. There's no dust on it. It seems like it had been moved recently. He stares at it incredulously, unable to think about it. Wonders if it is meant for him. He hesitates a second. Then he passes it to his ring finger and it fits perfectly.

He brings a hand to his mouth, suppressing an exclamation of surprise. He can't believe it. He feels the tears prick his eyes violently. He takes a deep breath. It's not even enough to calm him down. It feels like nothing will be enough. Oh lord.

He shakes as he removes the ring and puts it back before closing the drawer, pushing hard on it. Hands flat against. His heart is pounding hard in his chest. He doesn't know how long the ring has been there. He doesn't know it but that's such a shock he cannot ... he cannot believe it. It's meant for him. The dream he just thought about passes right in front of his eyes and there are so many more pictures in it that he blinks twice to bring him back to reality.

Lewis then gets up quickly. He runs away from the room. He doesn't even know if they should talk about it or not.

Well, of course they have to talk about it.

No wait a second. There are so many thoughts going around. He has other things to do and to think about. He's just overwhelmed. He's ... he's going to wait for Sebastian to tell him about his meeting, how this offer went to him before he puts such a topic on the table. And if everything went well then maybe ... maybe this will be the occasion. Maybe they can talk.

Here. That's how things should be done.

No need to stress, no need to think too much about it. He has time and he can do it all simply. He sometimes regrets not being more courageous. And his phone that starts ringing at the worst time. Other things he needs to take care of. His "other things".

Nico  
  
can we see each other?  
  
the last papers have arrived  
  
all that's missing is your signature  
  
can we do this over coffee?  
  


He grimaces. A little more and he is free. A tiny bit. He resigns himself to answer, there is not much left and he cannot hide behind his love forever. They had a thing and Nico deserves an answer. Even after all the hurt. Because they loved each other, at one point. They had a story and if it all ended up badly ... that's both their fault.

Nico  
  
where?  
  
the one on the corner of the street, where we used to go.  
  


Nico responds quickly and wants to see him on neutral ground. Lewis has always been a great sentimentalist, just the sight of the cafe front could make him cry. Of pain, of sorrow too. He wants to forget. Because it was great, because he had the best years of his life, somehow. Because he misses that time that will never come back. And he has found something else, someone else.

Nico  
  
14:00, not a minute more.  
  
very well.  
  


He's a little torn by these feelings in his chest. He preserved the past so long, only to let it go so quickly. He hardly has any regrets, because he is happy today. But still, he doesn't know how to feel about those years of his life. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply. Another reason. And his life is a true rollercoaster. 

It's hard to define, it's hard to think about it. But far from misery, loneliness, anger, he has rebuilt himself. He feels better than before or rather ...

He learned to love himself before loving others. Sebastian was so patient with him that he finally understood. He's not the problem, it's the others. He can't be the right person for everyone. Not everyone can love him. He can't do anything to that. He had to learn to accept that, to understand that. And to be who he was really.

Besides, when Sebastian comes home, he has already finished his encounter with Nico. Since when ? Minutes, hours ...? As soon as he got home, he just sat on the sofa, without taking off his coat or his shoes, thinking. He needed to think, he needed to lay down. Because it was too much at once. Because it's over, finally, and he feels such a void in him that's it's weird to describe. To try to describe.

— Lewis ? Are you okay ?

He smiles tiredly at his mate and suddenly comes to himself. He gets rid of his things, finding it unbearable heat, and comes to kiss the cheek of the newcomer, although still a little distracted. Still a bit thoughtful. 

— Yes, I ... how did it go ?

— Well ... it's almost strange. I was offered to expand the store, to develop other branches.

— Oh. And what did you say ?

— I replied that I would first see with my companion, what he thought.

Lewis blinks, takes a few moments to realize what has just been said. It just seems a bit too much. Everything is too much. Why ...? How did ...

— For me ?

— I know we can't stay like this forever and I don't want you to feel trapped in this life, I don't want you to regret having dropped everything. So I would very much like you to help me manage this project which is beyond me, please ?

He's having trouble breathing. Because he's so happy, because his German has thought about him again, has thought about their future and the difficulties they might encounter. He imagines them having a future, and that already means much. So much to his eyes. Him who was imagining a bit too much this morning. It wasn't in vain, it wasn't a bad thing, necessarily. 

Sebastian looked for a solution and offered him something lasting. Offered him a reason to really stay. He can't really believe it, he's exulting. His lover's blue eyes shine and he leans in to kiss him hard.

— I found the ring in your drawer.

These words escape by themselves from his mouth. He needed to talk about it. Now that everything has been settled, he needs to talk about it.

— It goes to my finger ... Seb ?

— I didn't want to talk to you about it, I didn't know if you were ready to engage yourself again ...

— Of course I am.

They don't actually move away, keep their faces closer. His two hands are on the cheeks of his love. 

— With you, I always am.

Sebastian laughs softly and that sound rings melodic in his ears.

— Lewis Carl Davidson Hamilton, would you do me the honor of marrying me ?

— You know all my first names ? 

His partner keeps an amused smile but tilts his head, clearly waiting for an answer. A laugh passes his lips. This is amazing. This whole scene is amazing and he somehow can't believe to be so happy.

— Sorry, sorry, but yes, I accept. I love you.

— That's all I wanted to hear.

Sebastian kisses his forehead and keeps an arm around his shoulders. He feels so emotional. He feels ... happy. A feeling he thought he could never find again.

— You are home, Lewis, and it will stay that way. I promise you

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if this is the end. It can be somehow. It can end many things and at the same time I wanted to write about so much more stuff. It's put in between parenthesis ... I wrote every part spontaneously so another part may as well come later. Even if now, with more time passed, I may as well end it here ...
> 
> I hope you liked this sweetness ...


End file.
